Been doing pretty much nothing till now. Just felt like writing something to keep me sane. I am trying to keep a panic atack at bay. I feel it coming though and that is horrible. I completely forget what is going on and keep shaking and all I want is to hide and cry and be miserable. And wallow in self pity since that is the most pleasent feeling at the moment.

I am guessing that my period might be coming and that is why I am a total emotional wreck.

Have to take deep breaths. In.... out.... in..... out.....

I just wish I wouldn't have anything to do today. I won't be in a happy place and I don't know how well I'll interact with people during a panic atack. Maybe I shouldn't go to the repetition today. Write that I have a migrene or something. That wouldn't be a total lie, since I actually do have a minor headache. But that is something that I would normally just brush off. If I am not screaming from pain, the headache is a total sinch. Peace of cake. That is the thing about migrenes, you get a totally different perspective on the pain levels. Minor pains don't count anymore.

Fuck... I am starting to freeze. And my heating is up and I am sitting here in a warm sweater. Shit!

In..... out..... in..... out....