Here I go again with my emotional rollercoster thing. After that miserable post yesterday, I have some sort of high today. This happens to me all the time.
Firstly I have to start by thanking you wonderful girls for the support. I really needed that. I am so glad to have you all.
Thank whatever deity there is, my migrene has passed. The thing is, I have been having periodic migrenes since I was 3, so I am having my 20 year migrene anniversary xD Sort of.
My parents don't know how often I have these horrible ones, when I feel like Iwould need to smash my head against walls or something. Because I normally have had them only later in the evening when I can lie and just crawl down to my apartment and take them on by myself.
And of course I don't want to go to a doctor, since there have been three cases when I was hospitalized with stomack failure due to drug overdose. I wanted to die so badly that I just overdosed pain-killers.
A therapist that I used to go to said that I need serious help and drugs and that she won't work with me, because she doesn't want to have such a responsibility. But,of course, this is me and I don't want any help. I might be in a fucked up emotional place, but I deal with it myself. That is how I have always done it.
Anyhow. That was just a short insight into my mind.
But today I am in a better place then what I used to be all last week. I am downloading some cartoons for me to elevate my mood. The future seems promissing for now.
It even seems that promissing that I really considered trying to take on ABC xD Which would be an epic fail soon enough, since I will have to go to a sushi bar with my cousins some time this week and He is returning from UK on Saturday morning :3 This point makes me very happy. I just hope that I can be good till then and look as good as possible when He arrives.
Today I have had:
Breakfast (73 kcal): Right Balance probiotic drink.
Lunch (385 kcal): Several salami slices, a kiwi fruit, and a pumpkin seed cookie.
Dinner (34 kcal): Tomato, cucumber and radish salad with vinegar.
Total of 492 kcal.
Stupid salami is so heavy and calorie rich. Damn. And I estimate the cookie at around 100 kcal. Overall, not bad. Just could have been better and more healthy.
Exercise wise, I have really lazied up. Can't get my butt off the couch. Should at least do something. I'll try.
I hope that you are all doing well, darlings.
Sending you skinnies and all of my love!