I have a morbid feeling that my body is failing me.
This last week has been horrible health wise and subsequently emotionally dreadful. In my last post I already mentioned having a stomack flu. And I actually thought that by fryday evening I was over and done with it. The thing is, I am not sure if that was really some sort of flu. Because knowing how all over the place I am with my food, it might be that I just fucked myself up again.
Yesterady I woke up with a mildly sore throat and today too. Which wouldn't bother me much, unless I would have to sing. It is my profession, I can't afford to be unhealthy.
But the top of everything was today. Around 1pm I got a headache, which turned out into a full blown migrene with nausea and throwing up. It went to the point where my parents insisted on calling an ambulance, because I could practically not breathe from pain anymore. I didn't want the doctors obviously. It just makes me see how weak and pathetic I am. WTF? Can't I survive a headache? That is why I never want to be around people when I feel bad. They worry and I want them to just leave me alone.
Anyway, the doctors pumped me full with medicines and put me to sleep. I woke up recently, but I am going to bed again, while I still feel like crap. My stomack feels all tender and there is still some dull sort of pain in the back of my head.
I wish I could get myself back on track. I can't lose control like this anymore. I just can't.