Under the weather

I am feeling really under the weather right now. And honestly, I don't think that my nauseous feeling has anything to with the beautiful snow that is outside. Yes, we still have snow and that is awesome. Although it is melting and I don't like that. I should like that probably since I should be cycling to work not taking the train. I really should because I have overspent my budget for this month. Really overspent it. I am down to a miserable £20 to my soul and I still have until the end of the month to get to work. So I like it or not, I will just have to wear something warm and get on the bike. I probably can get some money in the end of the week, because Andy is getting payed and I can scavenge a bit from him to at least last me for the next week. Though I should probably not do that.

Anyway. I got sidetracked.

Yeah. I am feeling a bit ill. For some reason I was feeling nauseous yesterday evening already, but I slept it off and thought that I am feeling ok in the morning, despite the nasty taste in my mouth. But then I got the same nauseated feeling while in train and it hasn't gone away so far even though I am drowning myself in water with a naive hope to wash it down. That is not working. A good thing is that at least I am not hungry.

A bad thing however, is that I will be going home after work and not to the opera group, because I don't want to throw up on anyone :/ I was really looking forward to the evening even though I haven't as of yet received the vocal score that I ordered last week. I know that I will be receiving it soonish, but that is not really good enough as I really need it to start practicing and it is damn difficult to do when I have to stare at the laptop screen to read the score.

I was practicing yesterday and I really hate it how I sound. The voice sounds strained and really ugly, imho. But then again I have never been able to understand when I do sound good and when I do not. I really need a teacher. I need my teacher. And actually I need to be back in Latvia and in a music academy with my teacher. That would be the thing that I should be doing. Unfortunately that is not the option, so I might as well just shut up and stop whining. I can do at least what is in my meager power and hope for the best.

I guess that I am kind of cranky today. Probably because it is a Monday.

I don't like Mondays much.

Well, at least the day is soon to be over and I will be able to go home. Maybe have a yoghurt to ease my stomach and then do some studying.

I am doing an online course on databases and a quiz is due today. I read all of the materials and I must say that I am none the wiser. Actually that is not true. I though that I am doing pretty well, while reading the materials. However, when I read the questions in the quiz all I could think about was 'Oh shit, I don't have any idea...' So I am officially an idiot that can't even follow a damn online course. So I will go home and listen to the videos with a hope that I will suddenly understand more than I am getting now.

Weight wise I think that I am doing ok. Still at 73.2 today, with a tiny loss from yesterday's 73.3. I suppose that this weekend has been successful for me as I haven't fluctuated much. Weight is pretty much consistent at this level. I do hope that tomorrow is going to be a better result. Maybe hit a number that I haven't seen for some time. That would be nice. Well, honestly, I would be happy about any kind of loss. Even if I would be in the 73s still. Maybe the slow and steady will do the trick? Of course, the slow and steady also is getting on my nerves, because I would want to see a result. Probably normal people would say that I already have results. I mean, I have gone dramatically down since the beginning of the year. But I am not going down as drastically now and that irks me.
I am really sorry for Andy though. He is also following this diet with me and he really misses meat. I am pretty ok with the plant based food. And he has gone down just a little bit. I think that I would be so frustrated if I would have actually gone up in the beginning of the month. I am really sorry to see that he is upset about it. Wish I could help. I really do think that he is building muscle mass though as he is going to the gym almost every day and doing a lot of cycling. I really do believe that that is why he is not losing that much. It should start going down though. There should be quite a leap downwards for him.

Anyway.

I guess that is all for me now.

See you tomorrow.