Thursday, 17 January 2013

Gained and not upset

I gained today. 73.5 kg as of this morning. I know that I was expecting it, but that doesn't change the fact that there was that tiny hope in the back of my mind whispering that maybe, just MAYBE I have managed to go out of the 73s for ever. I know that it was naive, but that's how it is. And of course it is a pity that I not skinny already. I am impatient. That is one of my most noticeable characteristics after all.

I know that I will get down. I finally will have won the fight with my weight. And I know that it will happen this year. It simply has to. I will make sure of it. Even if it will take a horribly long time to do. It already has, really.

All that matters is that I can be positive about it. That is already more than I have ever been able to do.

Also I have been tempted all day through today. My colleague has brought in a selection of cake from his wife's monthly cake club. And some of those looked so wonderful and moist that I have been drooling all day through. That's ok though. I have been able to resist it all day and another 50 minutes won't kill me. Furthermore, I will be able to go home and make some broccoli soup and cauliflower. Actually I will see if I want to have the cauliflower now really. Actually I think it might be better to make it as a Saturday evening snack. Yeah. I think I will have just the soup and some fruit. Sounds like a plan.

What else.

Talked to my mom yesterday again. Told her about the opera group and the opera. I think that she is still really upset that I left to UK and didn't carry on with singing in Latvia. I know that she is. And I am upset that I couldn't have it all. Unfortunately it was a choice between seeing Andy just for a week or so every three months or to lose my possible career. I decided to chop of my career to be with Andy. I don't regret it. I can't exist without him near me. It is just unbelievably sad that I had to lose something that is such a huge part of me. But I know that it will get better. I will turn it around somehow and will be able to get to sing. I just have to practice and be sure of myself. Especially now that I am slowly moving towards this goal.

Andy is coming home later today as he has a work event. So I will have the place all to myself. Also it appears that it is going to be snowing quite heavily tomorrow, so probably I will be needing to cycle in as the trains are going to stop and I will be kind of stuck in this end. Silly UK with their low snow resistance level. I really don't understand how 10 centimeters of snow can stop a whole country from functioning. That is beyond me. But then again I come from Latvia and am used to lovely and snowy winters. It is minus 20 at the moment in Latvia, and it doesn't appear that there is a massive crisis. I miss that. I really miss home. I wish we both could move back there and everything would be right with the world again.

Anyway. That is all for me today.

See you tomorrow, unless the whole of Britain suddenly gets paralyzed by the terrible, fluffy layer of snow.

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