Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Anxious and stressed

I am not feeling very well at the moment. Sitting here in the office and shivering wildly. It is so cold for some reason and it appears that I am the only one who is cold as everyone else keeps windows open and sits here in t-shirts. Also I am brutally tired. All I really want at the moment is put my head down and sleep. Maybe not even put the head down. My eyes seem to by trying to close of their very own volition. And that has been like this for most of the day. I don't think that cycling to work could have exhausted me this much. I really doubt it.

I am very hungry. Honest to goodness, I would fuck up my diet if anything at all would be here. I mean, I could nick a packet of crisps from the shelf, but a packet would count for 750 kcal and that would mean that I can't really have anything afterwards. I am so miserable at the moment that I have no idea what to do. I am afraid that I won't be able to cycle home normally and get stuck somewhere in between and have to walk for a long period of time.

I think that I am having an anxiety attack at the moment. Really need to pull myself together.

And I think that it was caused by the fact that I couldn't go running in the lunch break as I had planned. Damn guys in the office fucked up my lunch break time by going late and at the point where they were back, I couldn't go anymore as it would be too late. I hate it when I make plans and can't do what I was thinking. It makes me miserable and pretty much lost. And in this case has caused stress and anxiety and a bit of self hatred, because I failed to run today. How can I succeed with anything if I can't even manage to go running in my lunch break.

I am so very tired and really need Andy to calm down. And really need to go home right about now. I am scared that I will attach those crisp bags like a hungry animal any second now.

Just have to endure. Just half an hour.

No comments:

Post a Comment