Forgetful me

In the morning I woke up and thought, crap, I forgot to post yesterday. Well, there is nothing that I can do about the missing post yesterday, so I just thought that I will post now. Just to make sure that I don't forget again.

Honestly speaking, I think that the reason why I forgot to post is that I don't really have much to talk about. Nothing much has happened lately, so there are not many new impressions that I would be able to share and it feels sort of that I am just ranting randomly about things that have no value what so ever.

However, today I have at least something to say. Today I weighted in at 72.4 kg. I am absolutely ecstatic about that. I haven't been this low for some 5-6 years now, so I am just really glad about that.

Andy also has managed to lose some weight, and his colleague even asked if he has lost some weight, so he is happy about that. Well, considering how much he is exercising, I am absolutely not surprised. And he looks amazing. I just really want to hump him until we both can't move anymore due to exhaustion :}

Ehem...

Oh, I made really delicious food yesterday with sweet potatoes, yellow gram and mushrooms. Still have two portions for today, so don't have to make anything in the evening. So I will be able to practice some singing.

I am pretty glad that it is Wednesday already. Somehow I am feeling pretty tired and just want to stay home and do nothing. Or to go for a walk or something. I am pretty broke at the moment though, so that sucks. The pay is going to come in only on Thursday next week, so I am really expecting it. I want to buy some trainers as my previous ones fell apart and possibly to start running in the lunch breaks some three times a week or so. That should give me a kick to lose some more weight and I can also train some so that eventually I would be able to go and run a marathon. That is one of my coveted life goals.

I don't think that there is anything else going on. Doing some studies and some work. Kind of bored during the work hours, so I am trying to squish in some educating of myself whenever I can.

I guess that is all.

Stay lovely.

Under the weather

I am feeling really under the weather right now. And honestly, I don't think that my nauseous feeling has anything to with the beautiful snow that is outside. Yes, we still have snow and that is awesome. Although it is melting and I don't like that. I should like that probably since I should be cycling to work not taking the train. I really should because I have overspent my budget for this month. Really overspent it. I am down to a miserable £20 to my soul and I still have until the end of the month to get to work. So I like it or not, I will just have to wear something warm and get on the bike. I probably can get some money in the end of the week, because Andy is getting payed and I can scavenge a bit from him to at least last me for the next week. Though I should probably not do that.

Anyway. I got sidetracked.

Yeah. I am feeling a bit ill. For some reason I was feeling nauseous yesterday evening already, but I slept it off and thought that I am feeling ok in the morning, despite the nasty taste in my mouth. But then I got the same nauseated feeling while in train and it hasn't gone away so far even though I am drowning myself in water with a naive hope to wash it down. That is not working. A good thing is that at least I am not hungry.

A bad thing however, is that I will be going home after work and not to the opera group, because I don't want to throw up on anyone :/ I was really looking forward to the evening even though I haven't as of yet received the vocal score that I ordered last week. I know that I will be receiving it soonish, but that is not really good enough as I really need it to start practicing and it is damn difficult to do when I have to stare at the laptop screen to read the score.

I was practicing yesterday and I really hate it how I sound. The voice sounds strained and really ugly, imho. But then again I have never been able to understand when I do sound good and when I do not. I really need a teacher. I need my teacher. And actually I need to be back in Latvia and in a music academy with my teacher. That would be the thing that I should be doing. Unfortunately that is not the option, so I might as well just shut up and stop whining. I can do at least what is in my meager power and hope for the best.

I guess that I am kind of cranky today. Probably because it is a Monday.

I don't like Mondays much.

Well, at least the day is soon to be over and I will be able to go home. Maybe have a yoghurt to ease my stomach and then do some studying.

I am doing an online course on databases and a quiz is due today. I read all of the materials and I must say that I am none the wiser. Actually that is not true. I though that I am doing pretty well, while reading the materials. However, when I read the questions in the quiz all I could think about was 'Oh shit, I don't have any idea...' So I am officially an idiot that can't even follow a damn online course. So I will go home and listen to the videos with a hope that I will suddenly understand more than I am getting now.

Weight wise I think that I am doing ok. Still at 73.2 today, with a tiny loss from yesterday's 73.3. I suppose that this weekend has been successful for me as I haven't fluctuated much. Weight is pretty much consistent at this level. I do hope that tomorrow is going to be a better result. Maybe hit a number that I haven't seen for some time. That would be nice. Well, honestly, I would be happy about any kind of loss. Even if I would be in the 73s still. Maybe the slow and steady will do the trick? Of course, the slow and steady also is getting on my nerves, because I would want to see a result. Probably normal people would say that I already have results. I mean, I have gone dramatically down since the beginning of the year. But I am not going down as drastically now and that irks me.
I am really sorry for Andy though. He is also following this diet with me and he really misses meat. I am pretty ok with the plant based food. And he has gone down just a little bit. I think that I would be so frustrated if I would have actually gone up in the beginning of the month. I am really sorry to see that he is upset about it. Wish I could help. I really do think that he is building muscle mass though as he is going to the gym almost every day and doing a lot of cycling. I really do believe that that is why he is not losing that much. It should start going down though. There should be quite a leap downwards for him.

Anyway.

I guess that is all for me now.

See you tomorrow.

SNOW!

It is snowing so wonderfully today. The ground is covered with quite a lovely layer of the white fuzz, and all of Britain is screaming bloody murder and heading home early :D I find it funny. Andy probably is going to come and fetch me in the evening even though the trains seem to be going fine at the moment. Just minor disruptions as far as I can see in the webpage. Actually I am contemplating letting Andy know that I will just take the train because people get stuck on the motorway. I don't know. I just wouldn't mind him coming over, because I like being around him.

I made a really nice broccoli soup yesterday. It was pretty awesome. And totally easy and fast. So all the good things. I ate too much though. Had quite a large amount of dried dates afterwards too to get rid of the sweet cravings that had pestered me all day long.

Which brings me on to the fact that I gained again, which I don't like all that much. I am 73.8 today. Still under 74, but I don't have to like gaining in particular. I know that I should stop being so worried about it, because weight fluctuations are normal and such. It's just that I really want to see those low numbers again. I want to see the 72s again. I haven't seen them in a very long time and they make me a very happy bunny.

I don't really understand how I manage to gain while eating below 1500 kcal a day. Maybe I should be more strict? I mean, I had some 600 worth of calories by just snacking on dates. Probably didn't really need it. A handful of raisins would have probably satisfied the craving. Oh well. It did seem like a great idea at the moment, so I can't really change anything. The worst part about it though is that I am feeling more hungry today. Have to hold myself together again and train my stomach to not be a boss of me.

Anyway. Today seems to feel quite long and all I want is to go home, make my vegan Mac and 'Cheese' and have a hot cup of tea.

Unfortunately I don't have much to talk about anymore, so I will just end here and wish you all a great weekend :3

Gained and not upset

I gained today. 73.5 kg as of this morning. I know that I was expecting it, but that doesn't change the fact that there was that tiny hope in the back of my mind whispering that maybe, just MAYBE I have managed to go out of the 73s for ever. I know that it was naive, but that's how it is. And of course it is a pity that I not skinny already. I am impatient. That is one of my most noticeable characteristics after all.

I know that I will get down. I finally will have won the fight with my weight. And I know that it will happen this year. It simply has to. I will make sure of it. Even if it will take a horribly long time to do. It already has, really.

All that matters is that I can be positive about it. That is already more than I have ever been able to do.

Also I have been tempted all day through today. My colleague has brought in a selection of cake from his wife's monthly cake club. And some of those looked so wonderful and moist that I have been drooling all day through. That's ok though. I have been able to resist it all day and another 50 minutes won't kill me. Furthermore, I will be able to go home and make some broccoli soup and cauliflower. Actually I will see if I want to have the cauliflower now really. Actually I think it might be better to make it as a Saturday evening snack. Yeah. I think I will have just the soup and some fruit. Sounds like a plan.

What else.

Talked to my mom yesterday again. Told her about the opera group and the opera. I think that she is still really upset that I left to UK and didn't carry on with singing in Latvia. I know that she is. And I am upset that I couldn't have it all. Unfortunately it was a choice between seeing Andy just for a week or so every three months or to lose my possible career. I decided to chop of my career to be with Andy. I don't regret it. I can't exist without him near me. It is just unbelievably sad that I had to lose something that is such a huge part of me. But I know that it will get better. I will turn it around somehow and will be able to get to sing. I just have to practice and be sure of myself. Especially now that I am slowly moving towards this goal.

Andy is coming home later today as he has a work event. So I will have the place all to myself. Also it appears that it is going to be snowing quite heavily tomorrow, so probably I will be needing to cycle in as the trains are going to stop and I will be kind of stuck in this end. Silly UK with their low snow resistance level. I really don't understand how 10 centimeters of snow can stop a whole country from functioning. That is beyond me. But then again I come from Latvia and am used to lovely and snowy winters. It is minus 20 at the moment in Latvia, and it doesn't appear that there is a massive crisis. I miss that. I really miss home. I wish we both could move back there and everything would be right with the world again.

Anyway. That is all for me today.

See you tomorrow, unless the whole of Britain suddenly gets paralyzed by the terrible, fluffy layer of snow.

Kind of hungry

I am guessing that is the easiest way how to describe myself at the moment. I am kind of hungry and want to go home. Which I will be able to do any moment now. Also I am a bit sleepy, so I would glad to have a good night's sleep. And I am quite sure that I will get it tonight, so yay!

The opera yesterday was lovely. I was really upset at the beginning that the main tenor Villaizon had fallen ill unfortunately and couldn't perform. But the young Dimitry Popov was lovely. He really fit his role well and I was enchanted. he has a lovely voice too, so in the end I was not disappointed at all. Maija was gorgeous. She has really created a beautiful career and I am most happy for her. I am always glad that Latvian singers get to sing in these huge opera houses.
I cried in the end, of course. Something about Puccini's music always pulls at my emotional stings. I know the operas by heart, but I cry almost every time.
Andy also loved the performance. I am really glad that I can share this all with him :3

More good news weight wise. I was 72.9 kg this morning. That is just amazing. I do know that it will fluctuate soon, but I am really happy to see the low numbers still. It just makes me realize that I can do this and that I will most likely reach my goal weight this year. I am so happy about that.
Andy is also steadily progressing, which is making him happy and contented. I am very happy for him.

This probably will be a rather short entry though as I am really keen to head on home and I don't really have that much to tell.

So I guess that this is it for today.

Stay lovely!

Good news?

As I left yesterday saying that I will be back today with some good news, I have to keep my promise and actually provide the good news in both instances.

I went to the opera group yesterday evening. Was stalking around the place for a good half an hour until I manged to actually find someone who was from there. Well, I was too early anyway, so that was the reason.

The group is full of really nice opera enthusiasts. I really loved it. I sang a verse from one of the German songs as an audition and was already put into a production in the chorus. It is awesome. Finally I get a place where I can sing on a regular basis. One step close to doing what I really want. One step closer to being in a real opera house even just in the chorus. I really would not need much more for happiness.

The other good news are that I weighted 73.6 kg in the morning. My jaw absolutely dropped to the floor. That is amazing. More than a kilo decrease from yesterday. I know that I didn't really get to have proper dinner in the evening and that I will gain again once I get to eat something, but at the moment I can gloat in the relatively low numbers there.
Also it appears that I won't be able to have a proper dinner today, so I might (wishful thinking right there) be around the same weight level tomorrow morning as well. Fingers even more crossed than yesterday.

Andy had used his time well at home last night and had concocted a hot sauce that burned my throat and tongue until I got to brush my teeth. I even didn't have a great deal of it. Just placed some on the very tip of my finger to taste. It packs a mighty punch indeed :D
On a bonus side, all of the kitchen smelled really awesome.

We are going out to the cinema today to watch a translation of Puccini's La Boheme from Royal Opera Theater. It has a Latvian singer in the role of Mimi, so I am super excited about that. I know that I will totally love it.
I am heading out in some 15 minutes, so that I can get to Reading in a timely fashion. I am REALLY hoping that the trains are running in a proper fashion tonight. No more excessive hanging around in the train by the station, or I will not be happy about that.

Oh...

The snow is gone today. It is just pretty cold and kind of wet. Wearing my warmer coat today and gloves. I still have freezing hands though, so that is not cool. And my toes also are kind of on the cold side. I think that my blood pressure has really worsened recently. I feel really cold a great deal of the time. A good thing that my laptop is warm and I can warm up my freezing fingers on it. At least a little bit.

And again, I think that that is all. And the work day is too. Tomorrow is Wednesday already and that means that the week will be moving to the end. Yay :3

Unit tomorrow and stay lovely!

A lovely monday for a change

I have been happy today. Due to a simple fact that the ground here in the South of UK is covered with a lovely layer of snow. I really miss snow in winters. I want to have it desperately and I wish there was more of it actually. BUT IT IS THERE!

And that made me grin so noticeably that a stranger came to me when I was waiting for the train and said that I have made their day by being that happy. And that mysterious person made me smile even more, so I can't stop! My jaw is cramping xD

The weekend was really nice. Didn't do much at all and I have nothing against that. I did make that aubergine curry on Friday evening. It was quite lovely actually. And Andy liked it a great deal too. Nice and spicy.

Speaking about Andy, he gave me a huge bouquet of flowers on the Friday evening. Roses and lilies. It is gorgeous. And I can't help but smile from ear to ear like a Cheshire Cat whenever I see it or even think about it. There, sitting here at work and smiling like an idiot :3

Also made some Miso soup with shitake mushrooms and a lot of veggies. At least today I can not worry that Andy will starve while I am away in that opera thing. I can't wait actually. Really, really want to go already, but I still have some time, so have to wait. I am way too impatient. I don't know if they will have me sing though. I kind of hope that not, while I am having my natural feminine things going on (yay, not a parent) and it is not a great idea to sing when you have that. At least not for the first three days. Of course, if they ask me to do it, I will. Because I am not giving up a chance to join their group so easily.

Fingers crossed.

The work is going pretty fine. Doing some support things and such. Still have my lunch/reading hour, so that is awesome. Yes, I know that I am kind of lazy.

Weight actually made a great surprise for me on Saturday morning. I was down to 74.8 kg. Then back to 75.5 on Sunday and down to 74.9 this morning. I am happy to see it moving in the right direction, but really would want it to not be all over the place. GO DOWN AND STAY THERE, god damn it! The important thing is that the vegan thing seems to be working. I had some cereal with vanilla soy milk and a banana for breakfast and have two apples with me for dinner as I will be home late and I will not be eating around 23:30. So yeah. Is good. I am hoping that I will have a bit less tomorrow to despite my female stupidity.

Again, fingers crossed :3

And on this pretty happy note I will end this entry.
See you tomorrow hopefully with some good news!

Stay lovely.

Friday

Happy two year anniversary to me and Andy. I am so glad to have him in my life. The luckiest girl in the world. How has he not gotten frustrated with me in all this time, I will never know, but I am so thankful for all of his support and general awesomeness.

So I really want to go home and start preparing some food. I am planning to have some aubergine curry. The recipe sounds very nice and I am really hoping that it is going to be just as nice in the reality. However, thinking about it is making me quite hungry. More water for me.

Work is good. Spent all morning adjusting some templates. Was nice. I am really happy when I can just have a task and then attend to it in my own way, without a need to listen to angry people yelling at me.

Got the first ever email from a headhunter about a job opportunity in London. It probably would involve more than I am earning at the moment. However, since it is a client support role, I don't think that I want to take it. And I have just settled into a new role here, so I would say that I won't be considering switching a company for a while now. Maybe in a year or so, when I am fairly knowledgeable in some technical areas to be able to do that, but not before. I don't want to go back to client support, quite honestly.

Overall, I would say that today is a good day. I feel like I am in a mentally good place and my stomach is not  rumbling for food so intensely as it was in the beginning of the week. I guess that I am getting used to the amount of food that I am having. That is good.

The weight loss is not going so great as of yet, but I am hoping that it will be improving in a bit. Just 100g lost today.

I think that I am safe to say that I am happy today. Really damn happy and that makes me glad.

:3

Not much to say

Hi there everyone.

I have been doing some things today. Finally something new and exciting to learn. I am happy about that.

Actually not much has been happening in the period from yesterday's entry to now, so I am not quite sure what to write about. Maybe that is why I was postponing this entry so much.

Made the risotto yesterday evening. Was super delicious.

However, have gained today. Oh well. I am just hoping that it will be fine again. Fingers crossed I guess.

Had a long thought about McDonald's apple pies today. Unsurprisingly they are not considered vegan. I wish I was more surprised. Basically they don't have animal related products in them, but they are not guaranteeing that they will come in contact with oil where the meat was cooked. Kind of sucks. Really would have loved a pie right about now. Anyway. I'll just go home and eat my leftover risotto.

What else...

Nothing really.

Will be trying to do some singing today. Found a nice peace to learn from 'Patience'. I don't think that it is awfully difficult. Will see how it goes.

I guess that I am going home now. Last email scheduling a thing for tomorrow as early as possible.

Stay lovely.

Mid week ponderings

My legs and ass hurt so much from cycling yesterday. It was a rather pathetic display last night how I was trying to climb down the stairs in my high heals. Took me a long time and was anything but graceful. Made Andy laugh. At least something good came from it.

Didn't cycle today. Because lazy and pathetic.

However, scale showed another small decrease. 75.4 this morning. Doing the weight loss in a healthy (sort of) way is a pain. It comes down so slowly. However, I do hope that it will at least decide to stay down.

I haven't been doing much yesterday or today. Have been reading because I am still not really clear on what exactly will I be doing. Sort of clearer, but not really. At least at the moment I don't really have specific things to do. I guess that is a good and a bad thing at the same time. I feel good about not having stuff to do, however, I feel really guilty about it. Honestly, I don't think that they need me much if I just sit around and read books. Also, I would prefer doing that from home.

On a good note, got an invite to attend a repetition of opera group in Windsor. It is not exactly the best location, but closer than anything that I have found so far. So I have to go there next Monday at 8pm, which is pretty awesome. After all, it is really hard to find something that is available in the evening. They are doing the Gilbert and Sullivan opera Patience at the moment. I would be ecstatic if I could join.

So I got a peace from the opera and I will try learning it till Monday :3

On a different note, I am feeling kind of strange. A bit nauseous, even though I don't think that there is much that I would be able to throw up.

Maybe the beer that I had in the evening was not called for and this is how my body tells me. Don't know. Hopefully it will subside and I will be able to stop worrying about it. I'll have some more water and hopefully that will calm my stomach.

I guess I will make the mushroom risotto again in the evening. It really is good and I liked it a great deal. I feel like having some rice and mushrooms. I actually really crave mushrooms.

Also and observation - I have been cooking way more ever since we started the vegan diet. I guess that is natural as we can't fall back on the safety of ready made stuff, take out or sandwiches. That is probably a good thing.

That would be all for today.

Stay lovely.