I think that I love sore muscles. I love that feeeling when I sense how they move under my skin.
I am tired out today, but I am not going to get to sleep for several hours more :/ Have to go meet my Ex-fuck buddy, give him the scarf I finished on Monday and have a beer. Honesly, I don't feel like I even want to, but I promised. Even more so, I don't really think that I want to have a beer. I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow, so I would much rather just hit the sack early.
Anyway, less whining and more writing :3
Today was good again. The seminar continues to be lovely. I thnk I have mild crush on the professor though. He is so much older then me, but there is something sexy about him. Just saying. That makes the lessons even more fun :D
Exercise wise I have done:
Some 2.5 hours of Feldenkrais method.
30 minutes of Dance aerobics
20 minutes of breathing exercises
1 hour of academic singing
Around 1.5 hours of walking
Around an hour of housework
30 minutes of stretching
So that has been very good.
Food wise I had:
Breakfast (213 kcal): 1 boiled egg, 100g of cottage cheese, 20g of natural yoghurt, 3 prunes
Lunch: 2 glasses of Diet Coke
Dinner: 2 glasses of Diet Coke
And I am going to have beer. Probably 2 glasses. Not sure jet.
Total with the beer (2 glasses) - 497 kcal.
Anyhow. I am joining Kat in her 3 day fast. So there will be a lot of Diet Coke until Saturday lunch. I am just worried about tomorrow a bit, since I'll be with my mom from some 11-17, so I'll have to figure out some reason why I am not eating. Probably the good old, I am not hungry, I overate at breakfast. Thank god, that she agrees that I need to contol my weight. Anyhow.
Tomorrow I am meeting my two ex-colleagues from the cruise ship. I loved our time there. I would probably be still on the ship, unless I wouldn't have started singing. I loved it there. At least I know that I will have a job, if my opera singer plans fail big time.
I am actually feeling really good. Just really lazy :D I don't want to go to that bar. It is fucking cold outside!
Anyway. Time to get dressed.
Stay strong and I am sending my best wishes to you all.
Progress
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
And it is time for...
9 Loves:
1) Music
2) Tea
3) Movies
4) My parents
5) He :3 *aww I am mushy today*
6) My cat and cats in general
7) Having my life under control
8) Tattoos and piercings
9) My computer xD
Now with that over and done with, time to inform about what I did today.
It has actually been quite fun. At first I couldn't wake up at 6 am *obviously*. But at 10 I went to the seminar and it was awesome. Feldenkrais method is based on movement coordination and feeling your skeleton move. It is a lot different then the usual focus on muscles and it feels awkward to think about how your bones move when you are doing things. Anyway, the teacher is super nice and fun to talk to, so I am excited to go tomorrow too.
Afterwards I had an hour and a half free, so I thought that I'll go and buy me a pair of jeans. That was a total downside for my day. I couldn't find a pair that would fit me and look good on me in the whole mall. I hate buying pants. Especially since I get so frustrated that usually I end up eating to forget everything. But not today though. I bought myself an apple to rid my thoughts of stuffing my face with everything in the world. So that was positive.
The university was totally boring. I wish I wouldn't have this damn lesson at all. I don't give a shit about history of near East studies. Why should I even care? Never have, most likely never will. Ok. That is totally unrelated again
The singing lesson was nice though I think I did decently well. Tomorrow I have solfege lesson so I'll try coming up with a way to stuff a singing lesson in as well. Especially since I still need to go to a pub in the evening.
Anyway. Exercise wise today I did:
1:30 of Feldenkrais exercises. Whicha are really small scale, so I don't think that there were many calories burned.
30 minutes of stretching exercies.
Around an hour of walking around and climbing stairs.
An hour of academic singing.
Probably will do some sit ups and squats a bit later. That should be adequate.
Food wise today I had:
Breakfast (161 kcal): Two hard boiled eggs, a medium sized carrot
Lunch (72 kcal): A large-ish apple
Dinner (230 kcal): Some 600 grams of melon.
So total for today is 463 kcal. Looking at the nutritional values, I think I am really missing proteins. Will work on that tomorrow. I went grosery shopping today and bought myself a lot of good healthy products. So I am satisfied and happy :)
Now I am just going to chew my chewing gum till I go to sleep. I'll try not staying up late today. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day after all.
Bye for now and I hope that all is well for you all!
By the way - 20 followers!! Oh my lord! Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading all on my senseless gibberish :D
I am doing it again
Overlooking my daily regime thing. Staying up so late that tomorrow I'll have a serious problem with waking up. Basically been watching "Addams Family" season 2 and knitting that scarf. Finally finished it though. I am sort of proud of myself. Now we arranged a nice beer drinking evening on Wednesday when I can get it to him.
By the way, the weather here is crazy! The internet termometer shows that it is -17 degrees Celsius. Though it will be more like -20 later on in the night. Last night the lowest temperature that was observed was -27.1 degrees. I don't even want to get out of the appartment, because it feels like I am freezing all the time.
So tired of winter already.
Today was the first day of my 30 day challenge. It was reasonably good until my dear parents practically pushed a chocolate cake in my hands. So that made me go way over the 1000 kcal max I had decided on.
I am trying to keep my food diary at fatsecret.com, which is nice since it shows the calories for the food automatically.
So today I skipped breakfast since I woke up very late.
For lunch we had various sushi (354 kcal)
For dinner I had chicken fillet with cheese and cumin, and a glass of tomato juice (509 kcal)
And then came the cake, which I am estimating at 150 g (550 kcal) and three large strawberries (17 kcal)
Totalling up to 1430 kcal today. And it was such a nice number before the cake. But I am not letting this minor mishap discourage me. Just try being extra careful with calories tomorrow and it should be ok. I'll just try holding on to the 500 kcal limit.
And couldn't find it in me to do sports today. Mainly because I woke up so late. But tomorrow I am definitely doing exercises when I wake up and then at 10am I have to be at a master class for Feldenkrais Method, which is really good for musicians :) I am very hiped up about that.
Anyway. Not diet related, but I found one more challenge that I want to do:
So 10 secrets:
1)I used to say that I was a vegetarian even though I binge on meat often enough.
2)I don't feel much pity for people. I like watching sadistic movies and videos.
3)Me and my best friend used to try and summon Vampire spirits when we were younger.
4)I still wish I could become a Vampire.
5)My cat is named after a Vampire Adrian Tepes better known as Alucard.
6)I am hypersexual. Which is sort of an embarassing thing. I think about sex A LOT.
7)My first sex was a rape. This is probably the biggest secret of my life.
8)I like to make people believe in things that are not true. I lie a lot about all sorts of things. I am possibly a chronical liar.
9)A lot of people think that I study a lot even though I often enough don't even touch the books.
10)I probably would want to have children even though I believe I'd be a horrible, despotic parent.
Anyway. Good night for now :)
By the way, the weather here is crazy! The internet termometer shows that it is -17 degrees Celsius. Though it will be more like -20 later on in the night. Last night the lowest temperature that was observed was -27.1 degrees. I don't even want to get out of the appartment, because it feels like I am freezing all the time.
So tired of winter already.
Today was the first day of my 30 day challenge. It was reasonably good until my dear parents practically pushed a chocolate cake in my hands. So that made me go way over the 1000 kcal max I had decided on.
I am trying to keep my food diary at fatsecret.com, which is nice since it shows the calories for the food automatically.
So today I skipped breakfast since I woke up very late.
For lunch we had various sushi (354 kcal)
For dinner I had chicken fillet with cheese and cumin, and a glass of tomato juice (509 kcal)
And then came the cake, which I am estimating at 150 g (550 kcal) and three large strawberries (17 kcal)
Totalling up to 1430 kcal today. And it was such a nice number before the cake. But I am not letting this minor mishap discourage me. Just try being extra careful with calories tomorrow and it should be ok. I'll just try holding on to the 500 kcal limit.
And couldn't find it in me to do sports today. Mainly because I woke up so late. But tomorrow I am definitely doing exercises when I wake up and then at 10am I have to be at a master class for Feldenkrais Method, which is really good for musicians :) I am very hiped up about that.
Anyway. Not diet related, but I found one more challenge that I want to do:
So 10 secrets:
1)I used to say that I was a vegetarian even though I binge on meat often enough.
2)I don't feel much pity for people. I like watching sadistic movies and videos.
3)Me and my best friend used to try and summon Vampire spirits when we were younger.
4)I still wish I could become a Vampire.
5)My cat is named after a Vampire Adrian Tepes better known as Alucard.
6)I am hypersexual. Which is sort of an embarassing thing. I think about sex A LOT.
7)My first sex was a rape. This is probably the biggest secret of my life.
8)I like to make people believe in things that are not true. I lie a lot about all sorts of things. I am possibly a chronical liar.
9)A lot of people think that I study a lot even though I often enough don't even touch the books.
10)I probably would want to have children even though I believe I'd be a horrible, despotic parent.
Anyway. Good night for now :)
Monday, 14 February 2011
Felt like writing
Already a long time ago I had decided to hate Valentines. With all that useless shit of presents and people suddenly screaming to the world that they love someone, even though for the rest of the year they treat each other like shit and try making each other miserable.
Now you would expect some big "BUT..." and something that has made me change.
Honestly, nothing has changed in my perspective today either ;D
BUT (so here it is) He sent me a letter that made me cry like a little Twilight loving pre-teen girl. I don't know how exactly He managed that with a simple letter, but He sure did. And I know that my Valentines weekend is coming in 19 days, when He is going to arrive and my world will be all right again.
There. That is enough sap from me for today :)
Now you would expect some big "BUT..." and something that has made me change.
Honestly, nothing has changed in my perspective today either ;D
BUT (so here it is) He sent me a letter that made me cry like a little Twilight loving pre-teen girl. I don't know how exactly He managed that with a simple letter, but He sure did. And I know that my Valentines weekend is coming in 19 days, when He is going to arrive and my world will be all right again.
There. That is enough sap from me for today :)
Sunday, 13 February 2011
30 day challenge
Basically I am joining in with Moonlight Mistress's 30 day challenge.
It sounded so good to get some sort of motivation going in my life. Otherwise I am geting too lazy. And getting back to my daily regime is a nice enough idea while I am at it. Had to switch it around though, since I have two days when I have to attend university lessons. Which actually sucks, since uni is the last thing that I want to think about. Oh well. There is no way around it. Just push myself through this semester and write that bachelor's thesis.
But returning to the challenge - I think that calorie intake in between 500-1000 limit would be good. Being a binge eater not eating generally leads to binging in the long run and then I get everything back. And that is not what I am looking for.
So good luck to all of the people willing to join. And best of luck to us all :)
Daily calorie limit of your choosing; Exercise at least 1 hour, 5 days per week; Weigh every Sunday; Take measurements at the beginning of every month (starting with 3/2011); Post daily intake + calories & exercise to blog daily; Share total weight lost when challenge concludes.
It sounded so good to get some sort of motivation going in my life. Otherwise I am geting too lazy. And getting back to my daily regime is a nice enough idea while I am at it. Had to switch it around though, since I have two days when I have to attend university lessons. Which actually sucks, since uni is the last thing that I want to think about. Oh well. There is no way around it. Just push myself through this semester and write that bachelor's thesis.
But returning to the challenge - I think that calorie intake in between 500-1000 limit would be good. Being a binge eater not eating generally leads to binging in the long run and then I get everything back. And that is not what I am looking for.
So good luck to all of the people willing to join. And best of luck to us all :)
I don't know how I feel
It is a really stange feeling. I am just sitting here and thinking what to do or not do and I know what I should, but just don't have power to do it. It is sort of creepy. Like someone drained all of the life from my body.
I didn't go to the valentines party yesterday. Felt too tired. And I have sprained my neck and can't turn my head without searing pain. It is not as bad as yesterday. I actually thought that I will die then and there. But here I am physically alive, mentally... obviously in the same state as a vegetable.
Thank god, I don't have a repetition today. I don't feel up to communicating. Actually - I do feel up to that bottle of champagne in the fridge. But I'll have to wait for that, since it is just 4 pm and it would creep my parents out, if I would show up in their place drunk. And I know that I won't be able not to show up, since it is still early and they will start freaking out about me.
Honestly, I would want to switch my brain off. The thoughts are like a continuous buzz in the background. It is so annoying.
Anyway. I'll try to watch some movies and knit that scarf. I don't think that I can manage anything else.
I didn't go to the valentines party yesterday. Felt too tired. And I have sprained my neck and can't turn my head without searing pain. It is not as bad as yesterday. I actually thought that I will die then and there. But here I am physically alive, mentally... obviously in the same state as a vegetable.
Thank god, I don't have a repetition today. I don't feel up to communicating. Actually - I do feel up to that bottle of champagne in the fridge. But I'll have to wait for that, since it is just 4 pm and it would creep my parents out, if I would show up in their place drunk. And I know that I won't be able not to show up, since it is still early and they will start freaking out about me.
Honestly, I would want to switch my brain off. The thoughts are like a continuous buzz in the background. It is so annoying.
Anyway. I'll try to watch some movies and knit that scarf. I don't think that I can manage anything else.
Friday, 11 February 2011
In between
A quick reply to Moonlight Mistress: A name day is sort of like a birthday. Every day of the year there are certain names that are celebrated. Like 24th of June has John, 24th of Decebmer - Adam and Eve, etc. So basically it is one more day to get presents and get very drunk WITH a reason (or stay sober, if you so choose) xD Anyway, it is a tradition here in Latvia, as well as other Baltic states and some other countries. Actually wikipedia even has an entry for namedays here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nameday :3
Anyhow. I washed my hair and am drinking my second beer of tonight. Going to be off to PARTY hardcore soon enough.
By the way - just watched Chainsaw Maid on youtube. That is one sick claymotion movie. Loved it :D
Anyhow. I washed my hair and am drinking my second beer of tonight. Going to be off to PARTY hardcore soon enough.
By the way - just watched Chainsaw Maid on youtube. That is one sick claymotion movie. Loved it :D
Happy Name day to me
I have to start my post with an apology. It has been ages since I last posted. And I feel sort of guilty for that. If honestly, I don't have an excuse. Just didn't feel like doing anything. Just watching all sorts of sick movies I can lay my hands on. Like "The Serbian Movie" that I saw yesterday. That one was pretty good. So many places that made me lol.
So... the 11th of February has arrived and my Name day is already here. Somehow I am absolutely not excited, since I have been having my periods all this week and I am still hormonal and moody and sort of cruel to everyone. Thank god they are finally over. Now to get back to my old self who can actually control something.
Anyhow, I am disappointed with myself, since this date was a certain guideline for me, however, my weight is still very far from were it should be and I am just as uncontrolled and disorganized as ever.
Anyway. It is way too late and I should be sleeping a long, long time ago, but I was watching "Beetlejuice" season 2 and knitting a scarf for my ex-fuck-buddy, so that is way more important then sleep xD I am at least hoping to finish that scarf some time soon enough. Probably not this weekend though, since I am going to be very drunk the next two nights and slightly drunk on Sunday. So yeah. Big plans to go out to my ex-working place. Tomorrow night they are having the Bloody valentines Vampire party. What's better then a morbid atmostphere and a lot of booze to at least somewhat improve my most hated holiday of the year. My cousin obviously managed to catch some sort of virus and went home yesterday. So the big plans for a double name day went down the drain. Though I have never been the one to make big plans with people involved. They are sort of a backdrop for my plans usually. And the people in "Transilvania" are a much better backdrop. At least they are pretty and amusing enough to hang around with.
On the down side - I have a feeling that I have overworked my vocal chords. Feels like someone would be trying to suffocate me and it fucking hurts when I swallow. I hope it will be better tomorrow though. Still have to sing in the afternoon.
Re-reading the post, it seems as if I would already be drunk or something. Funny. Whatever. I am off to sleep a couple of hours. I'll be needing that later.
So... the 11th of February has arrived and my Name day is already here. Somehow I am absolutely not excited, since I have been having my periods all this week and I am still hormonal and moody and sort of cruel to everyone. Thank god they are finally over. Now to get back to my old self who can actually control something.
Anyhow, I am disappointed with myself, since this date was a certain guideline for me, however, my weight is still very far from were it should be and I am just as uncontrolled and disorganized as ever.
Anyway. It is way too late and I should be sleeping a long, long time ago, but I was watching "Beetlejuice" season 2 and knitting a scarf for my ex-fuck-buddy, so that is way more important then sleep xD I am at least hoping to finish that scarf some time soon enough. Probably not this weekend though, since I am going to be very drunk the next two nights and slightly drunk on Sunday. So yeah. Big plans to go out to my ex-working place. Tomorrow night they are having the Bloody valentines Vampire party. What's better then a morbid atmostphere and a lot of booze to at least somewhat improve my most hated holiday of the year. My cousin obviously managed to catch some sort of virus and went home yesterday. So the big plans for a double name day went down the drain. Though I have never been the one to make big plans with people involved. They are sort of a backdrop for my plans usually. And the people in "Transilvania" are a much better backdrop. At least they are pretty and amusing enough to hang around with.
On the down side - I have a feeling that I have overworked my vocal chords. Feels like someone would be trying to suffocate me and it fucking hurts when I swallow. I hope it will be better tomorrow though. Still have to sing in the afternoon.
Re-reading the post, it seems as if I would already be drunk or something. Funny. Whatever. I am off to sleep a couple of hours. I'll be needing that later.
Thursday, 3 February 2011
Daily regime thing.
It is so strange that since I have my schedule, I can manage much more in the day. However, I am getting pretty tired out, because there is basically no moment when I would just hang around and do nothing or watch movies or something. And since I am going to the master classes again today, I had to get up super early again to manage forcing in some things more. So I have been sleeping for 3 hours tonight. So tired. I am waiting for tonight, when I can get to bed and just sleep for 8 hours. God... Now I managed to tempt myself with sleeping.
Food wise it is all strange and awkward. Still the results of the previous week are obvious. Haven't gotten rid of the weight I gained with the constant bining. So I don't really know how my food intake is impacting me at the moment. But I am exercising like a maniac, so I am guessing that my muscle mass has gone up a bit. Hopefull the drop in weight will follow soon enough.
Ok. Off to study a bit.
Have fun today and
Food wise it is all strange and awkward. Still the results of the previous week are obvious. Haven't gotten rid of the weight I gained with the constant bining. So I don't really know how my food intake is impacting me at the moment. But I am exercising like a maniac, so I am guessing that my muscle mass has gone up a bit. Hopefull the drop in weight will follow soon enough.
Ok. Off to study a bit.
Have fun today and
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Today
Today is turning out to be busy, busy, busy. A teacher/singer Axel Everaert from Maasticht is giving master classes in the music academy all of this week. Sadly I couldn't get there yesterday, and most likely won't be able to go tomorrow. But today I surea as hell am going. Actually I am leaving in 10 minutes, so this is going to be a very short entry :P
Yesterday I went to donate blood. One guy that was donating before me lamost fainted there. It was a bit funny how a big, muscular man can look so disconnected with the reality from a little blood loss.
The doctor there said that my hemoglobin level is a bit lover then usually. Meh. Still in the boundaries of normal, so I don't care much.
Had just 5 hours of sleep tonight and I am very sleepy. Woke up 4:30, because I had to study Japanese, since I won't be able to do that later today.
My mom is already calling me. So bye, bye for now.
Yesterday I went to donate blood. One guy that was donating before me lamost fainted there. It was a bit funny how a big, muscular man can look so disconnected with the reality from a little blood loss.
The doctor there said that my hemoglobin level is a bit lover then usually. Meh. Still in the boundaries of normal, so I don't care much.
Had just 5 hours of sleep tonight and I am very sleepy. Woke up 4:30, because I had to study Japanese, since I won't be able to do that later today.
My mom is already calling me. So bye, bye for now.
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